It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
