He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
