Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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