Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
