hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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