good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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