How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
