Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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