Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize