I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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