found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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