Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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