There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
