I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
