hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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