Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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