You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
