Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
