So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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