i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My ass is underappreciated
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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