Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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