she sounds like chewbacca in bed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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