Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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