69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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