im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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