I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
