their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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