i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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