There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
