How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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