K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
