If i come over, it means nothing
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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