So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
