i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
