she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
