Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
