Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
