"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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