party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
