Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
