Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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