I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
