Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
