Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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