so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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