Don't you send me to vm
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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