he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
