girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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