capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A bitchslap is in order.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
