Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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