HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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