my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
