He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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