I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
