Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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