Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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