dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
