is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize