I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
