You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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