So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
