Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
