I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
